A year +

I don’t know why it took me so long to figure it out:

The preoccupation with money, status, beauty, success
The grandiose sense of self-importance
The desire to dominate everything around you
The persistent and needless love bombing
The inability to define our relationship and set boundaries
The reliance on substances to communicate complex emotions
The obsession with revolving aesthetics
The lack of emotional availability despite saying otherwise

You recently said talking to me is akin to
green flag after green flag after green flag

Well it’s 2am Tuesday morning and I have clarity
You’ve only shown me what you want me to see
The distance is the mighty sword you yield
to control my perception of you
the mere thought of me taking that away
is out of the motherfucking question

You’re not scared to love again,
you’re scared to fail at love again
at the hands of your undiagnosed narcissism

I’m committing now to falling out of love with you,
because despite what I’ve said before
this is not the kind of person I want to end up with.