affirming amber

I swear I’m happy
but it can be lonely
celebrating your success
by yourself, with a
carousel of friends

It feels almost pathetic
to talk about loneliness
why is that so? It’s a
valid human feeling
as natural as any other
of the human condition

Sometimes I’m overfloweth
with gratitude. The sun herself
radiates from inside my body
warming the people around me
It feels so sad and useless to
not give that energy to someone
who can reciprocate. Maybe
no one can reciprocate with me.

I guess the most beautiful and
exciting part of my life is that
I romanticize myself. I have to.
Yes, I make myself dinner, and
take myself to the movies. Buy
myself flowers every single week.
Oh but wouldn’t it be so lovely to
buy flowers for someone else?